


Le Facepalm

by siarc_a_botel



Category: Band of Brothers
Genre: Babe breaks his ankle, Babe needs new friends, Clumsy Babe, Cupid Guarnere, First Meetings, Hints of Webster/Liebgott, I Don't Even Know, Lads holiday in Normandy, M/M, Modern Era, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-24
Updated: 2018-06-24
Packaged: 2019-05-28 00:28:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15036695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siarc_a_botel/pseuds/siarc_a_botel
Summary: “Are you fucking kidding me?” Heffron said quietly to Guarnere on his left. Although he was pretty sure everyone could hear, thankfully the hot guy spoke a different language.“What?” Guarnere asked, watching as the dark haired man looked his friend over. “He’s helping!”Heffron bit his lip as he felt a little pain as the man ran a finger along his ankle bone. “Have you seen him?” the stranger stopped in his tracks for some reason, but continued his touches seconds later. Heffron lowered his voice and continued. “Typical, the person who pulls up to help just had to be cute.”





	Le Facepalm

**Author's Note:**

> I got bored and... this happened...I don't even know where this came from and it's so bad and I'm sorry haha!

“OW!”

“Jesus Christ Babe!”

“Can’t take this guy anywhere!”

“He’s a fucking walking disaster!”

“Shut up assholes, it fucking hurts, help me up here!”

“Probably just a scratch, you big baby.” Guarnere snorted, as he and Liebgott bent down to grab his arms, and yank him up off the grass. “Up you get.”

“AHHHH!”

Heffron yelled at the top of his voice as he was lifted by his friends, the agonising pain shooting through his left ankle like a sharp knife digging right through the flesh. Guarnere, Liebgott and Julian shared a look, deciding that at that reaction maybe Heffron wasn’t quite kidding around after all.

Seconds earlier, whilst strolling through a random field somewhere in the middle of Normandy, Heffron had fallen straight into a big ditch, his legs going under him. The other three had rolled their eyes knowing how clumsy the Philly man could be, it wasn’t his first tumble that day. But now, seeing him sloping forward with his eyes clutched shut and teeth clenched, they didn’t think it was just a minor Babe Heffron stint.

“You alright, Babe?” Julian asked worriedly, as Guarnere and Liebgott helped him sit back down.

“Not really!” Heffron hissed in pain as his butt hit the slope, his ankle protesting at the movement. “Feels like someone’s stabbed me in the foot!”

“Don’t be so dramatic.” Liebgott snorted. “You’ll be running around like a loon in no time.”

“Be nice to me or I’m telling Webster!” Heffron mumbled as Liebgott rolled his eyes and sat down next to Julian. The red head reached down to pull at the end of his trousers. He thought it would be a good idea to assess the damage done, but, it only made it worse as he slipped his trousers up and slightly juggled his foot. “Fucking fuckity fuck!” He cursed.

“Is it really that bad?” Asked Guarnere, as he kneeled beside his friend, and took a look at the ankle.

“No,” Heffron deadpanned. “I’m just a really good actor.”

“Wiseass.” Guarnere murmured, swatting Heffron’s hands away to start moving his sock lower down his leg. The younger man groaned as the sock was drawn down, just the simple touch of the fabric dragging across his skin making it hurt. “Jeez, it really is hurting huh?”

Heffron glared. “Of course it’s God damn hurting!”

Liebgott and Julian bit back a laugh as Heffron started flailing his arms about like a duck in panic, they knew they shouldn’t be laughing at their friend’s pain, but if he could see himself now he’d sure be wondering what on earth he was being so theatrical about.

“Keep the fuck still, you idiot!” Guarnere warned in his most demanding voice, that had Heffron freezing and biting his lip to hold back the whining. Taking off Heffron’s shoe and slipping his sock off Guarnere’s eyes widened. “Mother of hell.”

Liebgott and Julian got up, looking over Guarnere’s shoulder to see the damage. Their eyes bulged at the sight. Heffron, being the drama queen that he was, followed their gaze to his foot and almost puked at the sight. His foot was huge, extremely huge, and extremely red. The flesh and muscle around his ankle had swollen up like a balloon, and it didn’t look like good news from what they could see.

“Holy shit!” Heffron squealed loudly. “My foot! I told you I wasn’t exaggerating!”

“It looks like a sweet potato.” Liebgott said seriously. “Like a really big one.”

“Shut up Lieb!” Heffron groaned, staring at his massive foot. “What if it’s broken?”

“Well, we can’t wait around here.” Guarnere said, standing up and looking around. Fields were one way, more fields the other, and the only way of getting out was the metal gate leading to some road far, far down the field they were currently in. “Looks like we’re lifting you out of here.”

“What?” Heffron almost squeaked. “No way! Call an ambulance or something!”

“Great idea,” Liebgott snorted. “Oh hi, could you send an ambulance to this field somewhere in the middle Normandy please? You know, the one that’s probably someone’s land we’re not supposed to be on.”

“It was your idea to go to Utah Beach!” Heffron bit back.

“It was your idea to cut through these fields!”

“You guys agreed!”

“Because you were whining like a baby that your legs won’t be able to take the long walk around!”

“Shut the hell up!” Julian shouted, cutting through their childish bickering. “My god, be quiet both of you, and let’s get you the hell out of here and to a hospital, Babe!”

Heffron just pouted at the thought, he didn’t exactly want his friends carrying him through the field and probably down some roads that had people staring. Not to mention his pride was totally on the line here.

“Don’t even think about protesting, Babe.” Guarnere said, and that had Heffron frowning and kicking the dirt with his other foot, which really he shouldn’t have been doing, because that caused movement and ouch his ankle hurt.

“Okay,” Guarnere turned to the other two. “Here’s the plan. Me and Liebgott both lift Heffron up on each side, Julian you go ahead in front and see if you can find anybody when we’re on the road, if you do we’ll see if we can grab a lift to the hospital, probably be quicker than calling an ambulance.”

“What if they’re psychotic killers?” Heffron mumbled.

“Shut it.” Guarnere said, before him and Liebgott got down to lift Heffron from under the legs. “Let’s go!”

Ten minutes later, after they’d found a uninhabited road heading somewhere, Heffron was starting to become a pain in their backs. Literally.

“Jesus, Heffron.” Liebgott complained, struggling to hold the younger man up. “You need to eat less pizza!”

“Fuck off.” Heffron retorted. “And enough with the wiggling around!” he said with a hiss, as Guarnere lifted him higher in his arm.

“Stop your whining.” The Philadelphian said, feeling his back about to give way. “Liebgott was right, you do need to lose a few pounds you damn elephant!”

“Hey, don’t be mean!” Heffron squawked. He felt the sweat begin to bead on his forehead from the pain, and quite frankly he hoped he’d make it to wherever they were going before he passed out.

“A car!” Julian suddenly shouted form a few meters in front, waving Heffron’s sock and shoe around in the air in celebration.

“Quick! Stick your thumb out!” Guarnere ordered, as Julian began flapping the sock around. Which was good enough. “Thank God, I was starting to think this place had been deserted.”

“You and me both.” Liebgott groaned, as they set Heffron down on a slope on the side of the road. “If I had to carry this one anymore, I’d have broken my back.”

He got a glare from Heffron in return.

“He’s stopping!” Julian smiled happily as he jogged up to them, just as a red car started to pull up beside them.

Heffron sighed from the grassy slope and put his head in his hands, feeling the painful thump in his ankle getting worse, Liebgott chilled beside him as he lit a cigarette, and Guarnere and Julian waved the poor sod over that had the bad luck of finding them lot on the road.

“ _Tout_ _va bien_?” the man said to them in French as he approached.

“My friend, he’s hurt his ankle.” Guarnere said, trying his best to use hand signals to point out exactly what was wrong. “Can you help?”

It seemed like the man knew just what he was going on about, because as he was about to say something to Guarnere he looked down at Heffron’s sockless foot, his eyes almost popping out of his head and hastily he got down on his knees, his hands instantly taking a hold of Heffron’s foot as gently as he could.

The unexpected soft as a feather touch from the stranger had Heffron looking up, and straight into the darkish, sea blue eyes of the most stunning man he’d ever seen in his entire life. The dark haired man smiled kindly at him, and like a flick of a switch Heffron’s cheeks began turning redder than his balloon foot. The man thankfully had moved his gaze back down to his injury by then, but it didn’t make this scenario any less embarrassing.

“Are you fucking _kidding_ me?” Heffron said quietly to Guarnere on his left. Although he was pretty sure everyone could hear, thankfully the hot guy spoke a different language.

“What?” Guarnere asked, watching as the dark haired man looked his friend over. “He’s helping!”

Heffron bit his lip as he felt a little pain as the man ran a finger along his ankle bone. “Have you _seen_ him?” the stranger stopped in his tracks for some reason, but continued his touches seconds later. Heffron lowered his voice and continued. “Typical, the person who pulls up to help just _had_ to be cute.”

At that Liebgott snorted, and Heffron could have sworn he saw the stranger smile a little. “Trust you to have a crush on some guy you’ve just met.”

“Shut up!” Heffron growled at his friend before he let out a hiss, just as the man moved his ankle to the side.

“ _Pardon_.” He said softly.

Heffron just smiled awkwardly at him in return, turning his gaze to Guarnere and Julian who he looked at sadly. He just had a thought.

“He’s touching my disgusting, puffy foot!” Heffron screeched quietly. “He’s looking right at it!”

“Oh god.” Guarnere rolled his eyes, as Julian began laughing to himself. “He’s trying to help you moron.”

“But he’s hot!” Heffron declared.

“Yeah, you mentioned that.” Liebgott said, puffing out a cloud of smoke between his lips.

“Oh god,” Heffron groaned as the man put his foot down gently on the grass, and Heffron hadn’t even noticed. “A cute guy just touched my gross foot. I can just die right here.”

“Go ahead,” Liebgott shrugged. “Be easier than taking you to a hospital.”

“Fuck off!” Heffron bit back.

“Make me.” Liebgott grinned, finding this situation amusing more and more by the minute.

“I’m telling Web how mean you’ve been to me!”

“You always say that, but you never tell him.”

“Well, I am this time!”

“Oh will you two shut up!” Guarnere interjected.

“He started it!” Heffron pointed at the Jewish man, who was smirking. “Asshole.”

“Takes one to know one.”

“Liebgott, will you shut it or _I’m_ telling Webster!” Guarnere sighed, running a hand down his face. “Why do we bring these two again?” he asked Julian, who was by now beaming in utter enjoyment.

“Entertainment.” He said simply, grinning as Liebgott and Heffron started throwing insults at one another.

“Uh, excuse me? Sorry to interrupt.” The four friends all shut their mouths at once, all heads turning to the man who was now standing in front of Heffron. The funny thing about it was, he’d spoken in English. In a very thick, very southern American accent. “I think this could be worse than a sprain, we need to get him to a hospital.”

Heffron wanted to die. He literally wanted the earth to open up and swallow him whole, never to be seen again. His jaw dropped and his face was on fire from sheer embarrassment. To make things worse, the man looked down at him and smiled a little, a glint of amusement in his eyes.

“Well,” Guarnere was the first to speak up. “You’re not French then.”

“Duh.” Liebgott laughed loudly, bent over and clutching at his stomach, loving the expression on Heffron’s face. “Hey, Babe, he’s not French.”

Heffron didn’t answer, too speechless to say a word, too embarrassed to do anything but look anywhere that wasn’t the stranger’s face.

“Sorry,” the stranger began. “I just saw that he needed help and focused on that, I’m uh, I’m a medic so…”

“You’re a medic?” Julian asked.

He nodded. “Yes.”

“Wow, talk about a good coincidence.” Guarnere said, as Heffron disagreed inaudibly beside him. He was still mortified and forever will be.

“So, uh… I really do think we should get him to the hospital.” Said the stranger. “Jump in my car, it’s about a fifteen minute drive from here.”

“Yeah, right, shit!” Guarnere went into action, ignoring the fact that Heffron was protesting as he and Liebgott helped him up off the slope. “Oh shut up, Babe. Get your ass in that car.”

“I don’t want to.” He groaned quietly, making sure the medic couldn’t hear him. “Did you not hear what I just freaking said in front of the guy?”

“Yes, we heard.” Liebgott chuckled.

“Fuck off!” Heffron squeaked, watching as the dark haired stranger quickly ran to the driver’s side of the car and got in. “You better not put me in the front seat!”

“Where the fuck else are you going to go, dumbass?” Guarnere rolled his eyes, leading the red head to the passenger side.

“No!” Heffron hissed as his foot touched the ground. “I can’t sit by him!”

“Then we’ll put you on the roof.” Liebgott snorted. “Man up, you idiot.”

“He probably thinks I’m a creep!”

“You are.”

“Liebgott.” Guarnere warned as they approached the car. “Get your ass in there, Heffron.”

Heffron could only moan, half in pain and half in humiliation. He was going to spend the next fifteen minutes next to a bloke he’d just blabbed on about being hot, and cute, and he was seriously going to burst into a pile of dust because this was the worst day of his life.

“Ow!” Heffron growled as Liebgott practically pushed him into the front seat. “Dickhead!”

Liebgott just grinned and slammed the door in his face, taking his spot in the back seat next to the other two.

“Are you alright?”

Heffron froze. Slowly he turned around in his seat, and came face to pretty face with the stranger he’d hoped wouldn’t even look his way the entire journey.

“Uh…” Heffron stuttered, hearing the quiet chuckles from the boys behind him. “Yeah…. Yeah, I’m good.”

The man just nodded with a smile and turned away, starting up the engine of the car. Heffron shuffled slightly in his seat to send a glare to his friends behind him, who looked way too entertained for his liking. He had a feeling this was going to be quite the voyage.

“Hey,” Guarnere started, as Heffron turned his gaze to the trees out the window. “Sorry man, forgot to ask your name.”

The stranger smiled, as he pulled onto the road. “It’s Eugene, Eugene Roe.”

“Eugene, nice to meet you.” Guarnere said. “I’m Bill Guarnere, this is Joe Liebgott and John Julian. And that clumsy bastard in the front is Babe Heffron.”

Heffron could have killed him. He really could have.

“Babe?” Roe smiled brightly at the name. “Is that your real name?”

Yeah, he was going to chop Guarnere into little pieces and feed him to the piranhas at the zoo. “No,” Heffron answered, not looking over at the medic. “Just a nickname, my real name’s Edward.”

“Edward.” Roe said, as if testing the name out. “So tell me, Edward. How exactly did you get such a bad injury along the road?”

Heffron felt his cheeks heat up once again, wanting to throw something, anything heavy at his friends who he could see grinning like madmen at the back, through the mirror. “I uh… I fell… in a field.”

“In a field?”

“Yeah,” Heffron bit his lip, starting to twiddle his thumbs. “I um… _we_ walked through a field to try and get to Utah Beach, and I fell… down a very big ditch.”

“It wasn’t that big.” Liebgott added from the back.

“Was too!” Heffron argued, making Liebgott laugh. But he soon shut his mouth as he noticed Roe begin to laugh softly from the driver’s seat.

“What were you guys doing in a field?” Roe asked. “You know there’s a road that leads straight to the beach right? Those fields are owned by some pretty strict farmers.”

“Oh we know,” Julian answered, sharing a grin with the other two. “Babe here doesn’t like to walk, so wanted to take a shortcut.”

Heffron felt his cheeks practically burn. “You did too!” he snapped, folding his arms across his chest and glaring holes into the dashboard.

His friends just laughed, and so did Roe, which made it even worse. It didn’t help at all that for the rest of the ride the three men in the back seat told Roe stories, about all the other times Heffron got clumsy and almost broke his neck, while Heffron sat there with cheeks glowing red and vowing to himself that he was going to find himself some new friends when he gets home.

Just under an hour later, Heffron wished he’d taken the long way around to the beach. He was currently sitting on a bed at the hospital, pouting like a small child, as he stared at his bad ankle that was now wrapped in a cast. Said cast was being scribbled on by his friends, who thought they’d jazz it up a bit.

“Should I draw a cow?” Liebgott said, as he finished off his picture of a field. “Fields need cows right?”

“I definitely think so.” Julian answered him, as he doodled a foot. “Maybe put a cast on his hoof.”

The two laughed, earning a glare from Heffron. “You guys are the worst friends.”

Guarnere snorted. “Excuse me, but who carried you down that road not long ago?”

“Fair point.” Heffron mumbled, before letting out a heavy sigh. “Worst holiday ever.”

“It aint that bad.” Guarnere hummed, adding a big nose to his picture of a crying Heffron. “You got to meet Roe.” he grinned up at his friend. “You know, that hot medic who you thought couldn’t understand you when you kept going on about-,”

“Alright, alright.” Heffron groaned, rubbing a hand down his face. “Stop bringing that up, it’s embarrassing enough as it is!”

The men all laughed. “Maybe he has a thing for awkward red heads.” Liebgott added. “You never know.”

Heffron snorted. “Seeing my disgusting foot probably scared him off.”

“I’ve seen worse.”

Heffron’s body tensed up, and he could feel the blood rushing to his face. Once again his friends were bent over from laughing so much, probably thinking the same thing as he was. He had the worst luck in the world. “Fuck my life.” he murmured to himself.

Roe was standing by the opened door, smiling over at him as he looked up. “Trust me,” he began as he walked in and closed the door. “I’ve seen a lot of bad stuff in my line of work.”

“I bet,” Guarnere said, sending a wink to Heffron. “Babe’s foot is probably nothing.”

“No.” Roe agreed, stopping by the side of the bed. “Definitely not going to scare me off.”

Heffron groaned inaudibly, putting his head in his hands. “Why me?”

His friends chuckled, tossing their pens to the side and getting off the bed. Guarnere strolled over to the other Philadelphian and gave him a pat on the shoulder, giving him this cheeky grin which Heffron knew meant he was up to no good.

“I’m feeling a little peckish,” he said coolly, before talking to the other two. “Fancy a visit to the café downstairs, boys?”

Heffron knew exactly what he was doing. Guarnere was officially not his best friend anymore, and there was nothing he could do to undo that.

“I’m starving.” Julian groaned, rubbing his stomach. “The café sounds like a good plan.”

“Could do with a coffee.” Liebgott added in, smirking over at Heffron.

And there goes Julian and Liebgott’s rights to his Xbox back at the apartment.

“Right,” Guarnere smacked his hands together. “Guess we’ll go grab some grub. You guys want anything?” he said innocently at the medic and the patient. “Coffee? Croissant?”

“I’m good, thank you.” Roe said, oblivious to the evil scheme the three amigos were plotting.

“Get me some new friends.” Heffron said quietly enough for just Guarnere to hear.

“We’ll see you in a minute then.” Guarnere grinned, making his way out the door.

Liebgott and Julian followed, both sticking their thumbs up at Heffron before they left, while Heffron sent his own message with his middle finger. That didn’t go unnoticed by Roe who started laughing. Heffron quickly drew his hand down, eyes wide as Roe took a seat on the bed right next to him.

“How is your ankle feeling?” The medic asked.

“Uh… it’s okay.” Heffron answered, rubbing the back of his neck. “Pain’s gone.”

“That’s good.” Roe smiled, taking a look at the cast wrapped around his leg. “Looks like your friends have decorated your bandage.”

“Yeah,” Heffron grunted. “Should probably ask for a new one.”

“I don’t think so,” Roe grinned. “I quite like the stick man with the very large foot.”

Heffron blushed, thinking back to earlier when he’d sat there with his swollen foot, whilst Roe examined it and heard every single word that came out of his mouth.

“I’m sorry about earlier.” Roe said sincerely. “I just… guess I was intrigued by what you were going to say next.” he smiled, his own cheeks turning slightly red.

 Heffron smiled back. Well, at least he wasn’t the only one blushing like a virgin anymore. “I probably should have checked if you spoke English, huh?”

Roe chuckled softly, nodding. “Probably.”

“I’m such an idiot.” Heffron laughed along, feeling somewhat more relaxed and less discomfited as Roe grinned at him. “You probably thought I was some creep or something.”

“No, of course not. You were just very… honest.”

Heffron cringed. “God, I’m just going to shut my mouth from now on.”

“Where’s the fun in that.” Roe smiled. And man did Heffron’s stomach do flips. “I tell you what, why don’t we forget about what happened and start again?”

“Uh… yeah.” Heffron didn’t need to even think about it. “Yes, please. That would be great.” He said eagerly. “I don’t ever want to remember it ever, never ever.”

Roe chuckled. “Deal. Then let’s start over.” He held out his hand. “I’m Eugene, I’m a paramedic, I’m from Louisiana, I’m here visiting a friend for the week and I speak French _and_ English.”

Heffron smiled chirpily, taking the medic’s hand. “Nice to meet you, Eugene. I’m Edward Heffron, I’m a clerk, I’m from Philly, I’m here because my friends wanted to drag me out of the country for a holiday and I also speak English.”

The two laughed as they shook hands, Heffron feeling a lot more comfortable after their second introduction. He was just glad that the medic agreed to never talk about the most embarrassing day of his life ever again.

“So, Edward,” Roe said. “How long are you in France for?”

“Another three days.” Heffron sighed, thinking it would be a hell of a lot more difficult to get around now that he was on crutches. He could forget about walking through more fields that was for sure. “Don’t think it’ll be much fun anymore.”

“Don’t be silly,” Roe smiled, a glimmer in his eyes. “There’s plenty of things to do, even when you’re in a cast.”

“Yeah?” Heffron grinned. “Like sitting at a café, eating lots of French desserts?”

“As good as that sounds,” Roe chuckled. “I can think of other things too. Like the world war two museums, there’s plenty of beautiful churches, and don’t forget the beaches.”

Heffron laughed, he definitely hadn’t forgotten about those. “I could do with sitting on a beach. Maybe next time we take a cab.”

Roe smiled radiantly. “How about I take you there?”

Heffron’s eyes widened comically. “As in take us in your car?” he cringed at his own words, of course it’s what he meant. “I mean… uh… like a lift... you’ll uh… you’ll come with us?” by this point he wanted to tape his own mouth shut.

Roe just grinned at his awkwardness. “If you like. I’d love to show you around.”

“Yes!” Heffron almost yelled, once again embarrassing himself. He might have seemed a little too eager. “I mean… yeah, yeah that would be awesome. Totally cool with me. That’s if you’re not busy.”

“No, I had no plans today.” Roe chuckled, noticing the blush creeping up on the red head’s cheeks. “I’ll go see where that doctor is with your crutches, we’ll go find your friends, and we can make our way to the beach.”

“Great.” Heffron grinned, watching the medic as he carefully got off the bed and walked out the room.

Minutes later he returned with crutches in one hand and car keys in the other. “Here we go.”

“Thanks.” Heffron said, wincing in pain as he cautiously swung his legs off the bed.

“Are you okay?” Roe asked worriedly as he put the crutches down on the bed, automatically putting a supporting arm around the younger man’s waist to hold him up. “Here, I’ve got you.”

Heffron gulped. He felt a tingle up his spine as the medic clutched onto his shirt, while his other hand unconsciously splayed across his stomach, helping him to stand up on his one good foot. Heffron probably looked awkward as hell, with arms frozen by his sides, eyes wide and legs bent. He didn’t exactly know how to act when the guy he may possibly have a stupid crush on was touching him very personally.

“Alright there, Edward?”

Heffron shook himself out of his trance, looking to his left and almost having a heart attack at how close Roe was. If he’d move just a few inches to the side, well, Heffron would definitely be getting close and personal with the medic.

“Yeah…” he answered, shivers running through him as Roe’s hand moved lower to steady him. The other man had no idea what he was doing to Heffron. “Yeah I’m good, perfect, fine, good.”

“Okay, good.” Roe smiled, keeping one arm around the red head as he reached over to grab the crutches. “Here we go, will you be alright to use these?”

“Yeah, sure.” Heffron said, quickly taking the aids so Roe would let go of him and stop making him feel stuff. Specifically weird stuff in the pit of his stomach. “Thanks, thank you. Awesome.”

“No problem.” Roe said as he withdrew his hands, stepping in front of the red head to help him if needed. “Take it easy.”

“I’ll be fine.” Heffron said hesitantly. Honestly, it was going to go one way or another, he was either going be an excellent balancer on these things, or he was going to fall flat on his bottom because he was the clumsiest human being in all existence. Unfortunately for him, falling was the chosen option.

And if Heffron hadn’t embarrassed himself enough for one day, well in that moment it was about to get a whole lot worse. Heffron had the crutches in his grip for less than two seconds before his brain completely forgot that his foot was not to be used as a foot, and on instinct he put his injured foot on the ground. Yelping in shock from the shooting pain in his leg, the crutches fell from Heffron’s hands as he jumped back, his legs instinctively giving way. And instead of falling backwards which would have been highly convenient, his body decided to flop forward, right into Eugene Roe.

Roe didn’t have time to even move an inch before Heffron was falling on him, sending them both tumbling to the hard floor. The medic inhaled sharply as his back hit the ground, Heffron’s not so light figure landing heavily on top of him.

“Shit!” Heffron shrieked, noticing Roe flinch in obvious pain as he’d hit the floor. “Fuck! Eugene! Are you okay?” he asked in panic, swiftly getting on his knees and leaning over the other man. “Eugene?”

“I’m fine, I’m okay.” Roe answered, rubbing the back of his head. “Just caught me by surprise.” He smiled reassuringly.

“God, Eugene, I’m so sorry!” Heffron was about ready to lock himself in a room and never come out. “God, I’m so clumsy! I’m so sorry!”

“Really, it’s okay.” Eugene chuckled, as Heffron patted him down like that was going to help. “I’m fine, Edward.”

“Okay, okay.” Heffron nodded. He was pretty sure Roe was going to have a few bruises after that, but he didn’t want to go on about it and annoy the medic more than he already was. “I’ll make it up to you, I swear. I’ll buy you dinner!”

Roe chuckled. “You don’t have to.”

“Yes, yes I do.” Heffron said adamantly. “Christ, first you had to listen to me creeping on you, then you drove me all the way here, then I almost break your back, the least I can do is buy you dinner!”

“You really don’t have to, but if it makes you feel better…”

“It does.” Heffron grinned, earning a bright smile from the other man. “Maybe uh… maybe just the two of us. So my friends don’t embarrass me even more than they have.”

Roe laughed softly. “That sounds like a good idea, Edward.”

Heffron was grinning from ear to ear when the inescapable happened.

“So this is why you two were taking your time, eh?”

Heffron and Roe looked up at Guarnere who was munching away on a croissant, Liebgott sipping away at his coffee, and Julian who had two bags full of pastries, all standing by the door with some amused grins etched on their faces. Heffron was still kneeling on the floor between Roe’s legs, leaning over him a little too closely, and he had to admit, the position they were in didn’t exactly look family friendly.

“We were just talking.” Heffron stuttered out, mentally slapping himself. “I mean… I fell and-,”

“Yeah, yeah.” Liebgott snorted. “If you two wanted to be alone, all you had to do was lock the door, guys.”

Heffron glared hard at the Jewish man, before looking down at Roe, who he noticed was blushing as red as a tomato. “Ignore them, Eugene. They’re a pain in the ass.”

“Hey,” Guarnere protested, stuffing the rest of his grub in his mouth and helping Heffron and Roe up. “Don’t make me leave you here in France!”

Heffron stuck out his tongue, snatching the crutches out of Liebgott’s hands. “I’ve got a new friend now, I’m pretty sure he won’t abandon me like you lot!”

Roe smiled at that, before Liebgott stepped in. “I don’t know, he’ll find out about your loud snoring, smelly feet and obsession with the Spice Girls and run for the hills.”

Everyone in the room, except for Heffron, laughed. “I am not obsessed with the Spice Girls!” Heffron practically shrieked, then realised, as he turned to Roe who was laughing quietly behind his hand. “My feet don’t stink, I swear!”

“Think he’d remember if they did.” Julian said. “He did touch one of them earlier.”

Heffron wanted to smack the kid across the head. “We are not bringing that up!”

“Why not?” Guarnere smirked, shuffling the other two minions towards the door. “It’ll be a great story to tell the others when we get back, we’ll get Luz to impersonate you just to recapture the moment.”

“Don’t you bloody dare!”

“Might even get Web to write a book about it.” Liebgott added in.

“That’s a genius idea!” Julian chirped.

As the three lead the way out the door and through the hallway of the hospital, Heffron stood back and hobbled along, glaring into the back of their heads and hoping it would make them go poof into clouds of dust. They were still going on about it once they’d walked through the front entrance.

Heffron heard Roe chuckle beside him as Julian and Guarnere did an impression of him falling over in the field, making sure they were extra dramatic.

“I don’t think this morning is going to be forgotten after all.” Roe said, grinning over at the blushing red head.

“Not with these idiots around.” Heffron groaned. “This day is the worst.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t say that.” Said Roe, as they neared the car, the other three goofballs lagging behind. “We got to meet didn’t we? I’d say that makes up for it.”

Heffron stopped dead right next to the car, catching Roe’s gaze. “Yeah,” Heffron felt the smile tug at his lips, and was so glad his friends couldn’t hear this. “Yeah it does. I guess it’s a good thing I did fall in that field, huh?” he said, as he leaned closer to the medic.

“Sure is.” Roe grinned. “Lucky I drove past when I did.”

Heffron beamed, noticing how close Roe had gotten all of a sudden. “Yeah. I’m really glad you did.”

“Me too.”

Heffron opened his mouth to say something else, when at the corner of his eye he noticed something. Three figures standing in a line just feet away from Roe and himself.

“Are you two about to make out?” Julian asked, looking dazed. “Wow, you really do move fast, Babe!”

Liebgott snorted beside him. “I bet he ain’t even asked for Roe’s number yet.”

“I bet Babe’s already planning their wedding.” Guarnere laughed.

Heffron hopped towards the three who were doubled over laughing, raised his crutch in the air, and smacked each of them on the head.  He knew they’d come in handy.


End file.
